'm always craving a song, like the time that I always had a platonic love. I would find the most hidden boy in the corner of a secret spot of my hometown just to fell in love with him and dedicate hours and hours of thinking, poem writing, heating, palpitating, and thinking again; I needed that for survival. Me, without someone to love, impossible.
This reality walked with me until not too long ago, and now I don't need an impossible love because my love made it possible. About the songs, however, that didn't change; it's been like that since I was very young, around the age of ten. I would hear a piece of a song at the Kid's radio station and I would get hooked up with it: the melody, the lyrics and the fact that another kid was singing it! Hours and hours next to the stereo with the tape ready and my finger on "Rec" to record a song that I would listen, dance and sing a million times until it would mean anything to me, because another song would steal my soul. There's been always a song in my heart, and it became obvious that they were mostly dancing songs sang by a girl. Why? First of all, my "dancing" to the song was only running back and forth in my living room, that was my way of letting my mind imagine things that didn't really happen, like me dancing professionally, me singing in a band, me being part of a movie. For years my family understood that what my mom used to do after she watched Batman and Robin (because she'd imagine being Bruce's girlfriend), she passed it on to me.
So one day I'd be obsessed with this song about changing your closet to colorful clothing, some other day it would be a love song, some other week a school rebellion song, and so on and on. I'm obsessed with a song until I have it on my mp3 and I listen to it while I go to work, while I work out, over and over and over again until, as I said before, I can't even listen to it anymore. I have to leave it, and let it rest for a certain amount of time until I can enjoy it once more, but it's never like the first time.
I used to share the songs I loved with my ex boyfriend. I would make him listen to them, especially if they were love songs. And, we can say he tried to understand and acted like he cared, he wasn't very romantic any way and we'll find out later that he has no heart at all, so why bother? Why I don't share these songs with my boyfriend, my love, the one I share my life with? I don't know. I did show him the song I used to sing before I met him: Caroline's "Where's my love", but I think I should start making him listen to those songs that make me sweat and breath and beat. Oh well, we have our song though. On the very first date he turned on the radio and Alicia Keys' "No one" was on. I told him I loved that song so much. And is up to today that we hear it at certain moments: in the car, pumping gas (on the gas station), shopping at CVS. Considering what the song says, we take it as a sign.
I'm gonna finish this post randomly, because I only needed to expose my feeling about songs, something it came to my mind this morning while walking to work, and here it is. And also because I usually conclude and it's time to change.
Love and peace,
Oh my God!! I found the video of one of the songs that obsessed me when i was around 12!!