Baby M, for our last name, or Boo Boo Jr is another way we call the little soul I have inside of me and that I can't wait to meet.
I am 17 weeks pregnant. I've been through the worst (I think) so far. I had nausea all day, fatigue, headaches, lightheaded, and constipation (TMI, still on this chapter, slightly getting better).
WE'RE SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!
I am sorry, but I will use my blog to put down a lot of the things I go through and what I am thinking. I can be anxious. We don't know the sex of the baby yet and I can't wait!! Our Doctor is making me wait to the exact 20 weeks even though a lot of my friends already know at 17-18 weeks. Ugh. Paciencia, like my hubby tells me.
In the mean time, I already made my registry. Yes, I have some free time at work, so I read several posts about must have items on a registry, went through several pages like Babiesrus.com, Baby Depot, Buy Buy Baby, Amazon and Target. Had some fun but now I'm like... what to do next? Until I know whether Baby M is a girl or a boy, I can't do any shopping for clothes. :(
So let me take this opportunity to talk a little bit about our trying for a baby experience. My hubs and I are both 29 and we got married at 25.
Since I was 16 I had been dreaming about my love. Well, way before that, but I think at 16 I was open to get married right there, right then. At 18 I was anxious to meet my prince. But God made me wait. A long time for my taste and hard beating heart. I wanted to get married at 20 and have kids at 22, 24, 26 and maybe more. But I didn't meet my husband until almost a year after I landed in the US at 24 years old!
When we were going through premarital counseling there was one of many issues that came up: when to have kids. I wanted to have kids right away but Brandon wanted to wait at least 3 years. I remember I cried and thought about braking up the engagement! (yes, I can be a drama queen). Think about it: I had to wait FIVE years more than what I HAD PLANNED for my life and ON TOP of that my fiance wanted me to wait MORE for babies!
When we met with our Pastor I told him :
"I want to have kids right away"
He gave a strange look and he said:
"Right away?" (granted, when he got married, he had kids right away, lol). During those days in crisis (?) I talked to a lot of people about this, my 30 something cousin living in Miami who had just had a baby of his own, my mom and other people. ALL of them told me Brandon was wise about waiting because the time you get with your spouse those first few years are irreplaceable and very special. I accepted it. But trust me when I tell you I counted the days until those 3 years went by.
Of course we tend not to consider that God has plans too. And HIS are the ones that get done, not ours. He was very generous to us because when we started trying after 3 years of marriage it took us 10 months to get pregnant, which is not THAT much. If you know me, you know that 10 months is a lot to me, month after month I'd be crying asking why? why? why? And at the tenth month I was reading articles about how to deal with depression while trying to conceive, reading forums, and getting sad. One day I told my husband:
"Let's try for 3 months doing hard core homework" and in March we take a break, we use protection for some time and go back to our normal selves".
My husband agreed relieved. We as women think that we are the only ones wanting a baby, or carrying the burden, but men do too. I realized how much this trying and failing was affecting my husband too. He didn't need more burdens in his life and I didn't make it easier on how I handled the month to month realization I wasn't pregnant.
One of the things I liked about some articles I read was the adivce of going back to the things you loved. I realized I had changed as a person, I wasn't the Lucia I was before starting to try for a baby, and I needed to go back to that person.
That same month I got pregnant. A lot of people could think that I finally relaxed and that could be, I can't be 100% sure.
A big possibility is God answering the prayers of my beloved ones. My sister in law had gotten pregnant 3 weeks before and she prayed for a baby for me so I wouldn't be sad she was pregnant.
The biggest and 100% accurate guess is that God intended it this way. He knew when I would get pregnant.
If you're going trough long term trying to conceive I can understand you. You might think 10 months is not a lot, and I agree, going through more than that must be sooo hard. But I want to encourage you! God has a plan and he will fulfill it, and all things work for good for those who love him!
This post is missing a couple of pictures of my ultrasounds, I promise I'll post them in a few hours!